Colleges of Applied Sciences and Arts, Science, and Business to bail out flagging College of Liberal Arts Departments

In a surprise move, three of SIUC’s colleges have elected to pool funds in order to keep the doors open at several flagging College of Liberal Arts departments. However, this bail out comes with certain conditions, namely, the elimination of Marx and other texts deemed “subversive” from department curriculum.

Several department chairs were both surprised and dismayed at the turn of events, with many Graduate Assistants accepting with resignation new teaching assignments like “The Philosophy of Ayn Rand” and “Fiction Writing for Business.” Several Graduate Assistants have reported increased existential dread as a result of these new assignments.

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